apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Randomize
