I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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