Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Randomize
