do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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