i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
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