Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Randomize
