Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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