I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Randomize
