I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize