he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Randomize
