she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
Randomize
