So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Randomize
