so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Randomize
