It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
nutella sex= disaster
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
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