let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
and she was petting her beer can
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Randomize
