yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
how do flat chested girls get laid?
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
where are my eyebrows?
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