I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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