I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
