I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
