True but thats because hes a fetus.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
Randomize
