My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Randomize
