I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Randomize
