If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Randomize
