I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
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