I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
Found your dick twin last night
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
