I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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