I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Randomize
