if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
I'm just crazy horny about you
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
