we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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