Soap is not a condiment
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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