Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Randomize
