I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
