Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
