I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize