I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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