you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
I think my moral compass just broke
Randomize
