no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Randomize
