Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Randomize
