You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
