this is something i pride myself on being below average for
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
