He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Randomize
