i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
splinters make it hard to masturbate
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
