we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
