my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
