Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
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