Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Randomize
