Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
