a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
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