The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
I will pee on everything he values.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I think pants incapable of making pants work
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