Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
