i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
