Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
