Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
