i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Randomize
