Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Randomize
