brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
