I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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