go do what you do best...puke behind churches
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Randomize
