My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize