I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
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