ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
