I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Randomize
