My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
