Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Randomize
