be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
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