i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
people are starting to question the shark bite story
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
