the new term for farting is butt boxing.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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