Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
