question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
Randomize
